Why Orphan Care Ministries Fail: Pt. 2

"We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.” 
― C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory, and Other Addresses

C.S Lewis puts it perfectly. We are far too easily pleased. We are far too easily comforted, satisfied, and filled. As Christians, we pray, worship, and fellowship sometimes even in passing. Sometimes too quickly. Or sometimes not at all. Our spiritual discipline is too easily passed over and set aside in favor of the easy way, the lazy way and that old flesh nature, those orphan tendencies come out far too quickly. I am the first to know.

My orphan tendencies of control and anxiety and judgement. I feel them creep up and seep through and I have to go back to the Lord again. Maybe yours of anger, or yours of addiction or lust. Whatever it is, they afflict us all. Left over from before our adoption.  Are you in a place where you feel the need to sweep them away, to pretend they're not really there, that everything is really fine...

I know that feeling.

I've had periods in my life when I've been nothing but fine. Just fine. Great really. I mean, look at me, don't I look fine? Great, really?

 Fine and great are hard things to be.

For a church to have a successful orphan care ministry it can not have a bunch of just fine people going to it.

Are you getting my drift?

If a church wants to create an environment that fosters an atmosphere for ministries such as orphan care (but really any ministry that focuses on healing to the whole person) then it must be brave enough and willing enough to face whatever comes out when people begin to discover their true spiritual conditions. Their true orphan tendencies.

Orphan care ministries can not operate successfully without authenticity.

One reason I treasure my adoption community is because we all know where we stand. There is no pretending. There are no perfect mom awards going around. We all know we have kids fighting through broken places, and we are right there in the thick of the fight with them. Sometimes that can look really ugly. Sometimes it can look really sad. It is amazing when it looks joyful. But we could not stand through it all with them if we hadn't already fought through our own battles. Recognized our own stuff. Been there already.

Thankfully, somehow, we all figured out that we weren't just fine.

So, from earlier, we have:

1. Orphan care ministries fail when churches have a quick fix mentality, or define success by numbers. Churches must be willing to do the hard, slow work of fundamental transformation in order to be ready to engage in the messiness of orphan care.

And now today we can add:

2. Orphan care ministries fail when churches foster an environment of inauthentic community based on the perception that everyone is fine masked as authentic community. When authentic community is able to take hold and people are able to dig into and share their orphan tendencies with one another without shame, a community of broken but healed people can together begin to do the work of gospel.

And tomorrow we will explore the difference between guilt and grace and how that affects the success or failure of a ministry.