Real or Fake

I love the Hunger Games book series. There is so much packed into to those three teen novels - if you have not read them yet, I highly recommend you read them, especially before the movie comes out. To avoid spoilers, I'll speak in general terms.

In the third book they start playing this game called "real or fake" to deal with the excessive propaganda and brain-washing campaigns waged against them. Its a handy game. One character will say a memory, or a feeling, and the others will say "real" if it actually happened, or "fake" if it was an implanted or manipulated thought or event placed in his head by the Capital.

Sort of similar to the "real or fake" game, another character comes up with another coping mechanism to determine reality. She starts with the very basics. Her name. Then her place of birth. Then as she is sure of more information, she adds it to her list.

Sometimes life can be confusing. Not Capital-style brain-washing confusing, but we do live in a world full of media and noise and influences in every which direction. My best friend Erin even reminded me today on the phone that the enemy loves this, relishes this confusion. He even causes it in some cases, purposely pitting people against one another.

Today is my birthday - real.

I had a really bad day - real.

My kids made me feel like the most special person in the world today, and that made my day infinitely better - real.

I am a child of God, and He loves me, is for me, and nothing can separate me from His love - real.

On days like today, when affirmation and condemnation are all wrapped up together; when beautiful homemade cards filled with love and presents wrapped by small hands in paper towels are offered up after phone calls filled with tears, I choose to remember the real.

God has formed our family - real.

Even when I am alone, I am not alone - real.

I remember back when I was a freshman in college and I went to work at a Young Life camp up in New York for a summer. I happen to be there for "urban" month, which was kind of fun until a huge brawl broke out in the dining hall between the kids from inner city DC and inner city Philadelphia. That was actually terrifying. But the music was all gospel choir inspired, and the whole feel of the camp was very different than times I had spent at other YL camps. At the back of the small, campy, club building was taped a piece of construction paper that someone had written on in permanent marker. It simply said "Audience of 1" on it. I loved that. The speaker or whoever was doing a skit could look directly at that sign and remember that no matter who was actually physically in attendance that night, that the real audience is always just one person, and that is God.

I will try my best to live my life not for others approval, or disapproval, but for God and to fulfill the call He has given me - real.



"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10

Lent

I grew up in the Catholic church where Lent was an annual time of fasting, meditation, reflection, and quietness before Easter. It was a time when people often gave something up in order to more fully understand sacrifice, to bring us closer to Christ up on the cross.

This year I wanted to spend the Lenten season in an extended time of meditation and prayer, a season to be broken for the things in my life that break God's heart. I spend most of my time outward focused, either on my family or on ministry, and I wanted Lent to be about just me and God. Sin, weakness, direction, beauty, I wanted God to show me all of it.

The thing about those kinds of prayers, though, the really deep refining ones, is that those are the ones God is 100% of the time going to answer. I swear. He never doesn't show up for those.

I started with an old litany - the litany of humility. Guided prayers aren't usually my thing, but I find that they can be helpful to lead my heart where I want it to go when it is not fully ready to go there on its own. They also keep me focused and on track. I tend to wander.

Here it is:

"O Jesus! meek and humble of heart, Hear me.
From the desire of being esteemed, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being loved, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being extolled, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being honored, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being praised, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being preferred to others, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being consulted, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the desire of being approved, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being humiliated, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being despised, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of suffering rebukes, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being calumniated, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being forgotten, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being ridiculed, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being wronged, Deliver me, Jesus.
From the fear of being suspected, Deliver me, Jesus.
That others may be loved more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be esteemed more than I, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be chosen and I set aside, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be praised and I unnoticed, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may be preferred to me in everything, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should, Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it."

It is slow progress, and God is gracious to reveal my strongholds slowly to me.

Got anything going on for Lent this year? Want to share? Have you been following Gavin Rogers? He gave up his house for Lent. I kind want to go down to SA and talk to him :)

Community

I always knew that having friends, being in community as it is called, was a good thing. Of course it is. We all want friends, people that get us, that will have our backs, that will help us move for the fifth time (our friends get the moving us award for sure). I know that community is good because of God. God is a triune God, experiencing perfect community within Himself in His three person-hoods as Father, Spirit and Son. God created humankind to reflect that community and so gave us each other, that is, man and woman, and called it "very good" in the garden.

However, it is not until now, when I am on the verge on losing my community, when I have ever valued it so highly, nor ever treated it ever so casually, so recklessly. For reasons I can't even explain, I have been the opposite of everything I aspire to be to those in my community. Instead of humble, arrogant. Instead of kind, rough. Instead of a servant, a bully. Instead of encouraging, a cynic. I have been fighting against this place I have been in my life, and instead of leaving it with the Lord, I have brought it with me everywhere I have gone, and rubbed it off on a lot of innocent people. I hate that.

The truth is that I have been wrestling a lot with the church. Not the big "c" church, just my church. And I love my church, so this wrestling hurts. I have listened to enough sermons to know that you don't just leave a church. I have watched enough people leave in the last 12 years to know that every time some one leaves, I feel a bit betrayed. I have been solidly embedded in the "stay and change things from within" camp if you are not entirely happy for a long long time. But that's sort of the thing I have wrestling with, we have been wrestling with. How long do you stay and fight? I have never felt free to leave before. God has always told me stay. And I have always stayed. Patiently or not so patiently. I have continued to pray, to cry, to speak out, to run the ministry God has blessed me with, to serve, to be in community, to try to fit in some awkward way always feeling slightly out of place.

Until now. Now God has finally released us. And it feels so good. And it feels so bad. So scary. All I want to do tonight is hang out with the small group girls that have been a part of my life for the last eight years. If they would even have me. Because I have not been a very good friend to them lately. I have been caught up in my own drama of feelings and hurts. And I've been divisive and loud. Oh, and also generally not that great to be around. But I don't want to lose them. They are treasures to me, each one of them. I pictured our kids all growing up together, some of them marrying each other, being a part of each other's lives forever. And I still believe that will happen (at least I know Adeline is planning on marrying Joey so that she can be Kate's sister and Haddie's cousin).

I don't know what the next six months will have for us. I don't know where God will plant our little family. I am confident that he will lead us into community where ever we go. I don't know if it can ever compare to the community that we have had the past eight years with our group, or the past 12 years, the past 14 years at our church. But I do know that God is good and that He is faithful. That is enough for me.

Pictures Away

First off, what a fortuitous morning! I opened my daily zuilily only to find that two of their featured brands today were fair trade brands! And they were both new to me - Bambino Land and Green Kids. I needed a shower gift for a girlfriend who is having a little baby girl (shhh!), so I got to order a little something something from Bambino Land (no pictures until the shower because it is a surprise!).

Then, thanks to my Ethical Rag subsciption, I found out that ModCloth, a super cool site, has recently been buying from Mata Traders, a company that works with co-ops in India and Nepal. Very Cool! note: I can not speak as to whether all of ModCloth's clothes are ethically sourced. I have actually written to them to find out more because so little is available on the site, but have not heard back. It would be shocking to me if it was, however, just due to the sheer volume of goods they stock.

Well, on to what we've been wearing.

I spent the weekend in beautiful Sonoma county and sported my Noonday silver earrings all weekend. They no longer carry the particular ones I was wearing, but these are somewhat similar. Not sure if you can tell from this picture that Jonathan took of me while he was inside a Redwood tree, but there you have it.












I've also been wearing another pair of Noonday earrings (I heart my Noonday) this week. When I wore these earrings to pick up the boys from school, the fifth grade crossing guard told me (I swear), "I like your earrings." I mean, it doesn't get any better than that.













Adeline's been rockin' her new pink Chooze shoes. She loves that she didn't have to go to Africa to get them, and I love that they are so cute.



So that's what we've been wearing - how about you? Post pictures or comments and let us know!

What We Wore Wednesday

NEW FEATURE!!!

Have you see this girl's blog? It's cute, right? So I had this brilliant idea to take her idea of photographing outfits and use it to show that wearing fair trade clothes could be cute! Since I have this thing about fashion, and I have this daughter that has this thing about crazy outfits, I think we can come up with some pretty decent photos. I completely reject the notion that fair trade has to be hippie and boring, all oatmealy and gray. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! I want to hear/see from you too! So post in the comments section each Wednesday anything you or your kiddos wore or ate/drank that was fair or direct trade over the past week. Let's help each other find cool products and places to purchase ethically. Whether its just a pair of earrings or a whole outfit, I want to know what you've got going on.

Starting TOMORROW!!

Hero

I didn't start to become that interested in Martin Luther King Jr. or his ministry until maybe two years ago. In school we learned about him only superficially, going only as deep as the high points of his "I Have a Dream" speech, lumping him in with other African American leaders during a week in February (black history month). I found nothing particularly fascinating or overly interesting about him. If what I was taught in school was true, he was an effective civil rights leader during a turbulent time. I really couldn't have told you much more about him.

Then I read a book on inspirational Christian leaders that contained a short (maybe 35 page) biography of Dr. King, his faith, beliefs, non-violent practices, and his passion for all things just, from civil rights to compassion for those in poverty and I got really interested in this revolutionary man. There was so so much more to him than the cursory knowledge I had picked up in school. Dr. King truly was a man who lived out the gospel in its truest form.

It is because of Dr. King that I am able to have the family I have today. And that my sons are brothers, just as he dreamed fifty years ago. And that any of my children can and will marry whoever they choose, not based on race, but based solely on character and love.

In Biblical times, heroes as big as giants seem to emerge page after page - Abraham, Moses, Daniel, David. Men who led their people out of oppression, who wrestled angels, or survived lions, men who led vast armies to victories, or who slayed giant men with a flick of the wrist. Men like that don't seem to come around much anymore. But Dr. King was one of them. He led his people out oppression. He defied his enemies with no more than a speech. He heard God and obeyed. A hero of true biblical proportions, that enacted true justice on earth.

Women should Exercise

But not the kind of exercise that makes you all sweaty and gross and is hard. I mean, if you're in to that kind of thing, go for it. What I'm after is getting women to exercise their right to vote, and I don't care a lick who its for.

Let me take you on a short walk (pretty and painless I promise)through the history of the women's suffrage movement in the good ole U.S. of A.

1848 - the first time some women and men got to together in any official fashion to talk about voting rights. key words: Seneca Falls, NY. key people: Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Lucretia Mott key ideas: women and men should be treated equally under the law, voting rights for women.

1869 - a plan is formed! Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton draft legislation for a Constitutional amendment that would give women the right to vote.

1869 - WYOMING!!! becomes the first state to grant women the right to vote in state and local elections. This also lets women participate in jury service, so one victory and one defeat....

1893-1918- Sixteen more states get smart and give women the vote.

1920- on August 26th the 19th amendment (that same one that Susan B. Anthony wrote 50 years prior) is FINALLY signed into law, giving women the right to vote in federal elections.

It may have taken us 70 years and a lot picket lines to get, but in 1920 we finally achieved having a say with our national elected leaders here in America. This won us a lot more than just getting to stand in line on election day - this won us a piece of the national budget. Once women started voting, we started mattering to the policy makers in Washington D.C., who all of a sudden wanted our vote.

One startling but true statistic reports the reality of this situation. Prior to women receiving the right to vote, maternal health care in America was dreadful. In fact, more American women died in childbirth during World War 1 than American soldiers in battle. The average in 1915 was 608 maternal deaths for every 100,000 live births. However, after 1920, health care for women started improving, and by 1940, a mere 20 years later, the rate had already declined to under 100 maternal deaths per every 100,000 live births. One reason for this was that in 1935 legislation (called Title V) was passed aimed specifically at bettering and promoting health care for mothers and children. Coincidence that this legislation was passed 15 years after women gained the right to vote?

By modern day, the rate is now at an average of 13 maternal deaths per 100,000 live births. While that rate is among the lowest in the world, a deeper look will show us that we still have a long way to go.

First however, lets look at how some of our sisters around the world are faring in the health care arena.

In most of the majority world, women's health care is an afterthought at best. Prenatal care is not an option, and birthing options are extremely limited. Most women use a mid-wife if one is available and give birth at home. If they do choose to have their baby in a hospital, they most likely will be required to supply all their own medical supplies, including sheets, gloves, soap, etc... These supplies are expensive and most women do not have the means to pay for them.

Therefore, the tradition of having babies at home continues. While this is a tradition that has resulted in babies for centuries, it is a practice that puts the mother and baby in harms way. Unsanitary conditions cause postpartum infections, which is the number one cause of maternal mortality in third world countries.

And while mid-wives provide a valuable service, they are not trained doctors or surgeons, so they are unable to provide key medical interventions when desperately needed. Another high cause of maternal deaths in the third world is sepsis and other complications that accompany a woman not able to get a c-section in time.

These are the realities. One mother dies every minute in the majority world due to a pregnancy related complication. She may leave her baby behind. She may leave other children behind. They may be cared for, they may not. Maternal health care is one piece in the puzzle of the orphan crisis, of the overall static economic picture of the majority world.

Policy changes at the highest levels of governments are needed. Education for girls is needed so that they can be informed and vote and rise up and become national leaders and change their countries on a federal level. Ground support is needed. Basic health education is needed for women. So much is needed. Women need to know they are valued and they matter. Every message their society sends them says the opposite.

And before we get all high and mighty, let's revisit our own statistics. Although we enjoy the best medical care in the world; although we can go to hospitals and there are surgeons that are capable of amazing feats, who can operate on our babies in the womb; we send some very disturbing messages as well. 13 mothers on average die per every 100,000 live births, but this is just the average. In actuality, the rate is triple that among African American women, and is also higher among Native Americans.

What is the message our society is sending? If you are white you matter, if you are black you don't? Are you disturbed? Bothered? I am. That's why I treasure my vote.